I love social media.
I have a very big interest in it. I have always wanted to work with social media. Blogging, vlogging, Instagramming, or whatever. I’ve always enjoyed writing, expressing my emotion in writing has always been some kind of therapy for me. I used to keep a diary, now this blog is what I use.
I also love making videos, editing is my favorite thing, is also like some calming therapy. Watching something I”m proud of, after spending so much time and energy on it.
and taking pictures, I love the feeling you get when you take a really good picture, you just keep staring at it. I love going around trying to find the perfect angle and lighting to a picture.
I love sharing my stuff, I love putting things out there that I’m proud of.
But I’m too scared to take it seriously. If I ever wanna actually do this, I have to man up. But I don’t think I’m able to, and that’s why I hate myself, I can never take anything seriously enough.
I have a boyfriend.
If you told me 6 months ago that I would have a boyfriend now, my mind would have exploded. I’ve never been good at that kinda stuff, it just doesn’t come naturally to me.
But now I have in and it’s amazing, he’s amazing, sweet and smart.
But I’m in doubt, I don’t exactly know why I’m in doubt but I am. I do have this theory that since I’m not used to stuff like this, I’m chickening out, and it would make a lot of sense.
But it is still weird that when I’m not with him, I miss him, but I also keep thinking, do I really like him, but as soon as I’m with him, I can’t keep my hands of him.
I can’t really think of me having sex with him, but I really want to have sex with.
And that pattern keeps repeating, I can’t figure it out. I don’t know what I want.
I’m trying so hard to make up my mind.
So… It’s been a while since I updated my blog, and oh boy I have been busy.
First of all, I started school. And oh boy it’s been a ride. So many new people, and so many emotions at once. I won’t get too much into all that, but overall it’s been great. I already love the people around me, and I know it’s gonna be 3 great years. But as it is right now, I don’t wanna show up tomorrow.
It all started with what I expected to be one of the greatest parties ever. It’s a yearly party where everyone at the schools in my area, show up at a park and we draw on all the new people that started this semester. It is always the greatest party of the year. And it was a great night indeed.
A few people and I from my class meet a little before the party starts. All the way over there, we have so much fun, we drink, talk and meet a lot of new people in the train. When we get there everyone is hyped, all of my tutors are hyped to see me, which of course made my happy. We had a lot of fun and I got so drunk. I talked a lot with one of my tutors, I’m not gonna mention his name since this is an anonymous blog, but we had a lot of fun.
And of course, the idiot I am, I ended up making out with this guy. It didn’t last a long time since I had to help friend home. But after I left he texted me that he was sad that I left and all, which made everything way more awkward, because now there’s actual proof that we had too much fun that night.
He is actually a really cute and nice guy, but I don’t really know him very well, and I’m a little younger than him, so I don’t know what to think.
If anything else happens, I sure will update you.
So… there’s a lot of things I never talk about. Honestly I never really blog anymore. But when I do, It’s never about me. It’s about my current life perspective. And I feel like for once being honest.
I have this blog for no reason what so ever. I have 0 followers and 0 readers on every post. This is like a diary to me. This blog is anonymous, I never tell anyone about it. Once I talked with my psychiatrist, and she told me that many of her patients have had a lot of success when they started to keep a blog. I can’t even recall the reason, I just thought I would try it. And even though I never really use it, it is really helping. I can’t explain it, it’s just nice to know that literally, anyone can read this, but no one has to.
I could imagine, that if anyone ever run into this blog one day. And see all of my posts, with 0 reads or likes. They must think I’m a lonely loser. I would too probably, this blog is purely for myself, and no one else.
Ah yes, yet another incident where most people freak and some get angry for people only caring about because it’s all over the media.
This time I Felt it too. Reading a headline and feeling your heart drop.
It was only about 20 minutes ago I got a snapchat from my best and most beloved friend Emmely, who was standing on The London Bridge. And then reading the headline “attack on London bridge, at leats 20 hurt” Was the worst possible thing I could imagine.
She I luckily okay, but that could have been her, I could have lost her today. And I’m Not okay with that.
Perhaps people freak out about these situations, because they hit a little too close to home, compared to all the other incidents that happen every day and we all know about, but doesn’t get covered as much in the media.
I know for a fact, that I learned a new perspective on this situation today, and I didn’t like it.
I don’t know many facts about the case itself yet, so perhaps i will make another blog on it another day.